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George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.
God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?”
Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on …”
God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, come sit on the chair on my right.”
God goes to Obama and asks: “What do you believe in?”
Obama replies: “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. …”
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: “Well done, come sit on the chair on my left.”
Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in”?
Trump replies: “I believe you’re sitting on my chair.”


A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the man immediately downs them one after another. The bartender says ” are you ok, I’ve never seen anyone drink like that.” The man replied “if you had what I have you would drink like that too.” The bartender asks “that’s rough, what do you have?”The man replies “about $.50”.


I have never heard a knock-knock joke that was actually funny. Reddit please prove me wrong


A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem…
-He says,”Give me 2 shots…”
The bartender cuts him off saying,”You only get one shot.”


Pessimist: Oh, this can’t get any worse!
-Optimist: Yes, it can!


Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island?
-America


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Interrupting dyslexic cow
Interrupting dysle-
OMO!


Works better when said out loud.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Yoda lady.
Yoda lady who?


“Knock knock”
“Come in”
God damn it.


Friends told it me to me when he was drunk
Knock knock.
Whos there?
Perverted frog
Perverted fro-
TOUCH MY FUCKIN DICK

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