Funny Jokes Reddit
George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.
God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?”
Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on …”
God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, come sit on the chair on my right.”
God goes to Obama and asks: “What do you believe in?”
Obama replies: “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. …”
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: “Well done, come sit on the chair on my left.”
Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in”?
Trump replies: “I believe you’re sitting on my chair.”
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the man immediately downs them one after another. The bartender says ” are you ok, I’ve never seen anyone drink like that.” The man replied “if you had what I have you would drink like that too.” The bartender asks “that’s rough, what do you have?”The man replies “about $.50”.
I have never heard a knock-knock joke that was actually funny. Reddit please prove me wrong
A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem…
-He says,”Give me 2 shots…”
The bartender cuts him off saying,”You only get one shot.”
Pessimist: Oh, this can’t get any worse!
-Optimist: Yes, it can!
Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island?
Interrupting dyslexic cow
Works better when said out loud.
Yoda lady who?
God damn it.
Friends told it me to me when he was drunk
TOUCH MY FUCKIN DICK