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Latest Monday Funny Jokes In English Languages
Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday mornin’, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin’, Monday mornin’ couldn’t guarantee
That Monday evenin’ you would still be here with me
Old programmers never die, they just abend.
On a beautiful day like this, it’s hard to believe anybody can be unhappy; but we will work on it.
On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.
One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. – Elbert Hubbard
One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
One of those days? I have one of those lives.
One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye.”
“Where did you get the other shiner?” the boss asked.
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”
They were looking down into the depths of the Grand Canyon. “Do you know,” asked the guide, “that it took millions and millions of years for this great abyss to be carved out?”
“Well, I’ll be darned,” exclaimed the traveler. “I never knew this was a government job.”
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH.
He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him.
He sped up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up.
The man then noticed that the chicken had three legs, so he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm.
The curious man got out of his car and noticed that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, “What’s up with these chickens?”
The farmer explained, “Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I’m gonna be a millionaire.”
“How do they tasted?” asked the man.
“Don’t know,” replied the farmer, “haven’t caught one yet.”