Monday funny Jokes : Hello Friends Here We Have Provide The Best funny English jokes For u and Your Friends the Amazing really English Jokes, Funny Jokes of The day and much more to laugh. Find thousand of latest funny Monday Jokes, monday Funny hd images. Check out these Best Funny Full form of monday. latest English joke, funny things to say about mondays, monday riddles, monday one liners.
Funny Monday Jokes
Employer: We don’t work Mondays, is that gonna be a problem?
Me: Yeah I need to be able to complain about Mondays on social media
How’d it get to be Monday already?
99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.
Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.
Roger went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said to Roger, ‘We have an opening for people like you.’
‘Oh, great,’ Roger replied, ‘What is it?’
‘It’s called the door,’ came the answer.
I dialled a number and got the following recording, ‘I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.’
Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday mornin’, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday mornin’, Monday mornin’ couldn’t guarantee
That Monday evenin’ you would still be here with me
A man walks into a pub and sees Vincent Van Gogh standing at the bar. The man says, ‘I love your paintings, can I buy you a drink?’
Vincent replies, ‘No thanks I’ve got one ear.’