Q. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just Juan.
Q. Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A. Never mind, it’s over your head!
Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?
A. A lawn mooer
Q. What do you call a walking nun?
A. A roamin’ Catholic.
Q. Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
A. Fo’ Drizzle.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A. Because he had no-body to go with.
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
Q. Why don’t ants get sick?
A. Because they have little anty-bodies.
Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A. At the BP station!
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. “Is that you mommy?”
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q. Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
A. In his sleevies.
Q. How did Hitler tie his shoesies?
A. With little knotsies!
Q. What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill?
A. Walking… jk, rolling.
Q. What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?
A. Lunch and dinner.
Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A. So he could have sweet dreams.
Q. What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Q. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A. Aye Matey.
Q. Why did the robber take a bath?
A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q. Why can’t a leopard hide?
A. Because he’s always spotted!
Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?
A. Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A. A sour puss!