What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
“What do you call a man with no nose and no body? Nobody nose.”
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh.
“On all of my medical forms growing up my dad wrote ‘red’ for my blood type. To this day no one knows my actual blood type.”
“What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.”
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Without geometry life is pointless.
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1
I gave all my dead batteries away today… Free of charge.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
“Anytime I do something smart my dad says, ‘Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!’”